My name is Catherine, and I am a recouping enthusiastic dependent speculator. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year point in recuperation, yet will always remember where I have originated from with betting dependence.
Gambling dependence took just about all things from me such as family, friends, status, work, my house, car, nearly my marriage and cost me more than cash; it virtually cost me my life twice from self-destruction. At that suffering time, I also had undiagnosed mental and emotional health problems that I did not realize until 2002.
I originated from the profundities of hellfire, sadness, and gloom.
I woke up in the doctor's facility with swathes wrapped around both my wrists and could hear two individuals discussing blades everywhere throughout the family room as I passed out once more. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. Now I realize I was experiencing mind and body failure. A psychological/emotional pass out. From that point I went to a compulsion/mental emergency focus.
Everyone checked on me to make sure I didn't attempt killing myself. Not long after, a psychiatrist began to work with me. And indisputably, I was an impulsive gambler also. Thus, I began working with an addictions advocate too.
I tried quitting gambling without external help, but it was futile instead I had delved more into it; worse still, I even gambled when in rehab. I figure I had not achieved base yet.
Even after staying for 20 days in a crisis centre and a failed suicide!
My situation was a clear case of an Addiction. Addictions are abnormal behaviours which are extremely tough to end. However, the condition isn't hopeless. And this wasn't my final time I would execute this circuit.
Not because of effectively betting, because of the budgetary weights from this sickness, I had another suicide endeavour in 2006 as it appeared I had not done what's necessary work in every aspect of recuperation, including my money related stock.
Principal step? Draft out a roadmap to your desired wellbeing. Some years later, I envied those who had a normal healthy life, so I quit taking my prescriptions which served to treat my psychological problems. So, I discontinued using them believing it was only the betting that was causing my mental sickness issues of PTSD, manic depression, mild mania verbosity and bipolar sleeplessness cycles and OCD. Just for two weeks with no medications, I was back to desperation and suicidal thoughts. The way I handled it by taking the pills at once dragged me back to the dark side of emptiness again.
I was taken back to the remedial centre where I stayed for more than two weeks amidst intense alertness by my loved ones and those in charge to prevent me from doing the worse.
When discharged this time, I had learned from my mistakes that I have to use drugs to manage my mental/emotional health and happiness as they refer to this as being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Recovery with even bad experiences, coupled with some "faith" can reveal many life lessons in recovery to us. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Issues outside your addiction problem can still surface and having that prepped up mentality would be essential.
First, the usual behaviours when we struggle with the addiction needs to be cut and give ourselves a chance to really recover ourselves, believe that we can change the habits. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. During the therapeutic process, endeavour to acquire the necessary knowledge which can cut the addictive tendencies and then end the loss of discipline, negations and alibis.
Second, come to agree that recovery is a process which extends for the entire duration of life. It is as crucial to accept as the first step.
Third, an essential 'Relapse Prevention Plan' in a tactical and strict form, to stay recovered for a long time and avoid starting the process all the way from the beginning. It is a sure thing that life moments are still being made. Even joyful or favourable occurrences, not only bad or grievous ones.
I think that is the reason behind the question asked by Gamblers Anonymous in our book called "The 20 Questions" to detect whether you have a gambling problem. It is why they place #19.) "Did you ever have an encouragement to jubilee any great luck by some hours of gambling?" YES! For me, notwithstanding when things great happened, I would need to celebrate by going as far as anyone knows to have some "enjoyment" by betting. Be that as it may, my habit was so terrible I required anything I could seize to recuperate, not simply Gamblers Anonymous.
I utilized my gatherings and links there for my help and listening to other similar-minded dependents and have my thoughts of how subtle and crafty this ailment is. And GA showed me how vital it is to be there for others via recuperation service as others were there for me when I was a newbie.
We have to begin a discussion about this still hush, hush dependence. Let's break up the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to break the "stigma" surrounding it, and surrounding those who live dual diagnosed also. Truly, managing a psychological trauma while striving to attain a state of physical well-being is exacting; however outlining my travails, makes it clear that attaining a state of physical and mental well-being is feasible and every individual struggling with a rehab can have a life of laughter and happiness even during the rehabilitation period.